1. |
divine intervention
06:03
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2. |
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|
darling, dearest, if you can hear this, i miss you so much.
i can feel what you left, moving beneath my flesh
but i feel so alone, i feel so hollow
like theres a great big fucking hole inside my chest
and even in the summertime, my bed is always cold
no blankets can warm me anymore
without your arms to hold my quaking, shivering and aching body.
i cant sleep without you
i cant sleep without you
i cant sleep without you
and im still waiting for your text goodnight
i wish i could make myself hate you
instead of spending my time feeling hurt
i know hate's nothing new, but at least it's not worse.
all i have that helps me through the day
are the memories of you, holding me.
survival shouldnt feel this way.
i wish you could have stayed.
and im still waiting for your text goodnight.
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3. |
tar
04:54
|
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|
my body is a sewer
my lungs, full of hate, shit, tar
and we will always be worse
than we think we are
her leaf hits my lungs
her stems crawl through my chest,
up my throat, through my nose
she is the tree from which i am hung
she reaches behind my eyes
into my soul, to draw out all of the
bile that i swallow.
feel it rise
pus from a sliver,
rot in my liver,
a body in the river.
pus from a sliver,
rot in my liver,
a body in the river
i steel myself against the tension
and brace the knife against my neck
it feels good, there - it feels right at home
the hilt fits so well, in my right hand
the blade, just long enough, just sharp enough
it wont be hard to do when the time comes
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4. |
to be held
05:45
|
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|
i dont know why im like this
but i do know i dont like it
i cant stop the feelings of
repulsion for those around me.
i crave human warmth, but it always feels
like rust and garbage and maggots.
i need to be held.
i need to be held.
i need to be held.
i need to be held by you.
i need to be crushed by a loving body
but i cant even be touched.
no one has ever called this soul back into me
this soul that leaves my body when i sleep
on nights when my spirit leaves
to go running with coyotes,
please, please, be there to wake me.
help me feel some kind of safe.
safe.
safe.
safe.
i love you. please lay on top of me.
free me from this anxiety
my nerves are too long for my body
stretched thin with nervous energy
nothing can replace your weight.
no fire nor blanket warms me like you did
no heat is safe like yours
and nothing lights up my life like you
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5. |
couch quarterback
04:57
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Girldinner Brantford, Ontario
A three-lunged blood eagle, splayed across Brantford and Grimsby, Ontario, leaking emoviolent sludge.
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